Showing Your Appreciation At Work
Author: Amy Blaschka Source: Forbes
Last week, our fifteen-year-old daughter told me about a “really cool” online quiz* her French teacher had the class take. As it turns out, the quiz had nothing to do with French.
My daughter stated that the quiz was geared around identifying your “love language,” and surprisingly, when she and her classmates and teacher shared their results, it spurred conversation, curiosity, and some a-ha moments.
The quiz was based on Gary Chapman’s classic book, The 5 Love Languages, which suggests that each of us has a preferred “love language” and that we can improve our relationships by knowing one another’s.
In its broadest sense, “love” can be expanded beyond the romantic variety. For my daughter’s teacher, it became a creative way to get teenagers to think about how to understand their preferred communication styles better.
This concept is so universal that it was later adapted to the work environment, shifting from “love” to “appreciation.”
“Because we don’t normally think in terms of our co-workers loving us — the word appreciation fits much better — but it is meeting that deep need to feel that somebody cares about me, and somebody appreciates me,” says Chapman.
Chapman teamed up with Dr. Paul White to pen The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, which aimed to improve workplace relationships simply by learning your co-workers’ language of appreciation.
“Every person is unique in the way that they feel love or express love in personal relationships, but it’s the same in how they feel appreciated and valued in work relationships,” explains White.
And when leaders, co-workers, and employees feel appreciated, says Chapman and White, you improve staff morale, create a positive workplace, and increase employee engagement.
Here’s a breakdown of the five languages of workplace appreciation, how to effectively communicate using them, actions you can take to support each style, and things to avoid.
1. Words of Affirmation
How To Communicate
As this language’s name suggests, use words to affirm, encourage, and appreciate people. Employ empathy to understand your colleagues better and actively listen to them to signal your interest.
Actions To Take
Provide verbal praise in front of others—in a team meeting or when you’re with customers, for instance. Regularly send unexpected messages, emails, or texts of encouragement to foster closer work relationships.
Things To Avoid
Offering non-constructive criticism or failing to recognize your workmates’ efforts, which will leave others feeling frustrated and unappreciated.
2. Quality Time
How To Communicate
The best way to use this language is to give others your undivided attention.
Actions To Take
Schedule time for one-on-one, uninterrupted, and focused conversations. Maintain eye contact. Arrange activities outside of the office to hang out together with colleagues . each of these actions will build trust and deepen team relationships.
Things To Avoid
Four words: put away your phone!
3. Acts of Service
How To Communicate
With this language, actions speak louder than words.
Actions To Take
Help alleviate a colleague’s workload by offering your assistance, and then perform the service in a way the recipient wants it done. Use phrases like “I’ll help…” to let them know you’re with them and be clear about how much time you have to assist.
Things To Avoid
Not following through on tasks you promised to take care of.