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Failure: How To Overcome and Learn From It

Written by 
Farnoosh Brock

Guess What? Failure is Not Bad. At All.

Here’s the problem. And this is a big problem that if you don’t wrap your brain around and totally get it now, it is going to delay your happiness and success for a very long time. Are you ready? Here goes:

Failure Is Not Bad.

I know you’ve heard this before but you haven’t believed it yet, have you? Because until you do, it’s no good knowing it.

If you want to stop reading now, just don’t ever again forget this little fact I just shared with you because it can save your dreams from drowning in your soul. Yep, just this little one tiny factoid. I’ll say it again:

Failure is not bad.

Get over it already! So what if you failed?

At least you tried something. Stop tying your identity, your past and your entire future to a failure – small or ginormous.

You are not your failure. You are so much more than that that it can hurt your head if you could fully picture it. You are powerful beyond measure.

It’s hard to believe in yourself again after failure if you put your faith in failure. Well, that’s the problem. Put your faith in YOURSELF but learn from your failures. Do you see the distinction? That’s how you never lose faith in yourself – and no matter what the failure, you don’t ever stop believing in yourself. Now that can be a powerful way to live.

Failures are not bad.

Where did we get this stupid ridiculous idea that failure is bad? Why, everywhere in our lives of course. From the minute we are able to understand anything, we are told right from wrong, good from bad and soon after, failure from success.

We learn to see them as two separate things. Success is over here way on the bright and sunny side of the spectrum and failure is at the pit, on the far left corner, in a little dark damp cave.

No wonder we find it so hard to believe that success is actually made up of a whole bunch of failures, but it’s true. Success and failure are so intertwined that you cannot have one without the other. The sunny bright side would not be possible without walking through the dark damp cave first. And the best thing you can do for yourself is to treat both of them the same.

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; From the poem IF by Rudyard Kipling

5 Reasons Every Successful Person Knows Why Failure is Good For You

First, you need to understand why success starts with failure. Sure, there are other factors that impact success such as a bit of luck, timing, opportunity, and the right circumstances that help success come about but they are small compared to the power of failure.

So failure is not bad. Which makes it – you got it – good. In fact, very very good. But what makes failure oh so good.

Here are a few quick thoughts that come to mind:

  1. You went for it instead of just sitting around envying others or having a pity party.

  2. You proved that you have characteristic traits like courage, determination, patience, willingness, initiative and a bunch more.

  3. You made yourself vulnerable, which later will make you powerful. Just watch!

  4. You completed something – because you can’t fail until you get to a certain point where you determine if you have won or lost. So you have completed something but the results were not in your favor. Still, you get points for completion.

  5. You decided that it was worth trying something and failing instead of not trying at all. This is huge.

This is just a tiny snippet of what it means to have experienced failure but as you can see, it is good. Everything outlined above can serve you to reach your higher self and get closer to your deep true purpose in life. Doesn’t that make you want to give your failures a hug now instead of condemning them to hell every time they happen?

Stop Associating Irrelevant Crap with Failure

It’s not the fault of failure if you are associating completely irrelevant outcomes to it. Is it?

Outcomes such as feeling defeated, tired, angry, frustrated, like a loser, ready to quit, unhappy, cheated out of something, confused, overwhelmed and bitter.

It is NOT the fault of failure that you choose to have this response to what happened. It is the fault of – well, to be quite blunt – you, my darling.

You are to blame for feeling this way because you happen to have every means to stop how you react to everything in life.

In fact, that’s your one true strength so make it your ally: How you react to the things that happen to you.

Now wouldn’t you want to capitalize on the one thing you control rather than to throw up your hands in the air and say “I give up this control, I give away my power!” – because that’s what you are doing.

Do not be reduced by the circumstances or the outcome of something just because it’s not in your favor at this moment. You have to believe, believe in your dream to the point of delusion, to the point of complete unreason, to even borderline insanity if you must, but then you have to go out there and do whatever it takes to make it happen.

Failure is your friend in this process and it is going to show up now and again, but over time, if you’re doing it right, if you’re moving forward, taking action, learning from your mistakes, growing from your failures and still going after that dream with enthusiasm – not bitterness or grudges – then you will be truly successful.

Besides, if it weren’t for failure, do you think success would taste so good? You cannot appreciate light without darkness, and both are necessary to keep our world turning.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; From the poem IF by Rudyard Kipling

Just Because You Failed Doesn’t Guarantee You Will Succeed

Wait. What? I just finished telling you how great failure is and how success is made up of a bunch of failures …

Let me explain more clearly that failure itself is no guarantee of success without commitment, devotion, persistence, and constant action. Just because you failed does not mean you “paid your dues”. Next time you go for it, you may succeed – or not.

Failure doesn’t promise success next time. Failure is only a path to success, and every time you fail, you get closer to success, that’s the only certainty.

The timing of your success depends on how hard you push, how prepared you are, how good your intentions are, how much you learn from your failures and move forward without repeating what didn’t work.

Some of us have to fail a lot before we taste sweet success. Some of us get there faster and it makes the rest of us wonder why them and not us. Stop comparing yourself.

The only thing you should concern yourself with if you want to be happy and reach amazing sweet heights of success is to follow your own path, to adjust your course by learning from your failures, to work hard and smart, and to believe in yourself.

If it sounds too simple, it’s because it is. Stop complicating it and start doing it.

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ From the poem IF by Rudyard Kipling

Failure is not bad.

It is the reaction that you have to failure that makes it not so great. And that, you can change. So start now. Change your reaction. And you will begin to change your life.

Have a story about overcoming failure? 
We'd love to hear it! Leave it in the comments.

#Advice #Failure #Life

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