The Job Shop
- Jun 16, 2016
- 2 min read

5 Reasons You Don’t Have Work Friends, and What to do About Them

As humans, we need some form of social interactions (some of us more than others). However, we all do need and thrive on the simple act of connecting to people.

For the majority of us, our social fabric is created through work. We see these people every day. We have work in common. We get to know them in ways the spouse and significant others simply don’t. When we leave these people due to job change, it can be painful.

Yet, despite all this social goodness that work can bring, what happens when it doesn’t happen to you? What do you do when you don’t have friends at work? No one to save you space at a meeting or light up when you enter a room. It happens, and when it does, there’s no lonelier place to be. It can be so impactful that it can cause a person to look for another job.

5 Reasons Why You Don’t Have Friends At Work

Here are situations you may be facing and what you can do about them:

1. You’re New

You may think you’re past due for connecting to people in a deeper way at work. Sometimes, the dynamic is such that it simply takes a while and ongoing persistence to break through.

2. You Got Off On The Wrong Foot

It doesn’t matter if you were misinterpreted. Somehow, you did something right off the bat that got you sideways with many of your peers. If you did do something wrong, make amends and don’t do it again. Being a big person takes courage, but you will win friends. If there is nothing to make amends for, stay friendly and ignore the undertow. It will eventually fade.

3. The Cliques Are Too Strong To Penetrate

Just like high school, there are work situations where you are the outsider and will stay that way for an indefinite period of time. Most likely, these people have worked together for a while and the bond is tight. They probably don’t realize how unfriendly they may seem.

You need to be friendly and make efforts to get to know each person at an individual level. It may take some big work event, like a year-end close, to be the final catalyst that forms the bond. There’s nothing like being in the trenches with people to nail the trust and support.

4. You’re Not A Cultural Fit

That feels like a hard message, but it truly is not personal. We all have values and work styles we wear like a suit. They are out there for everyone to see and experience.

Many times, when we aren’t a cultural fit, we are out of step with the people we work with. This makes it hard to really form friendships. If you aren’t a cultural fit, you need to admit it and move on. It not only won’t help form friendships, but it won’t help your career either.